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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan

Writer, content marketing professional and occasional stand up comedian. Find my books and free stories at https://t.co/JHEXPeeLYx. All views mine only.

https://t.co/SMubSTZB5H
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
Well, this looks like a worthwhile use of my time. pic.twitter.com/fSdNqwtQuN
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
The best line is actually on the back. The devil shark possesses a woman, leading to... pic.twitter.com/K78qJLvTuZ
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
"The only thing more terrifying than a shark in the sea is a shark in the she!"
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
The opening scene features a satanist nun who can't act stabbing another woman who can't act. It is not saved by the cinematography.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
They keep using the same bit of footage of a 'CGI' shark with glowing eyes swimming around in an entirely blue sea.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
So then people pretend the shark is attacking them, despite there being no context whatsoever where the shark is.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
Here's what a shark attack looks like. Note the nun has clearly told the director that she won't ruin her shoes for this shit. pic.twitter.com/xmnILRs4CZ
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
All the shark attacks use variations on that CGI footage by the way. Well, so far anyway. I'm halfway through and went back to live-tweet.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
Microsoft Word Art is a totally valid choice when making movie titles on a budget. pic.twitter.com/GubDv91Pnf
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
This character just complained about the lack of air conditioner in the car. pic.twitter.com/5cSHyAMaBM
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
The deadly shark bite consequences. This was a lingering closeup, by the way. pic.twitter.com/kwlsvh0nTE
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
This actress, I'm not kidding, is actually really watchable. She's actually giving it her all and trying with everything she does. pic.twitter.com/NKCaPCC890
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
However, in her character's supernatural investigation show, that's her only cameraman. She's now talking to the actual movie camera.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
But everyone else seems completely bored and she's really going for it. I now really like her.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
For no reason, everyone is talking about it being a demon shark. So two competing psychic investigation shows have turned up.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
This is my favourite detail so far. Priest Handsome is in the church library and appears to have supplied his own books. Look closely. pic.twitter.com/r84QPRZOUF
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
These shark attacks are happening in a lake, by the way.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
I'm still laughing at the priest having a collection of acting books.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
This possessed woman is now trying to seduce another woman by stroking a phallic shark and talking about wanting to get wet. pic.twitter.com/54srZHFlu8
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
Psychic investigator woman is now also possessed and just threw up over the psychic debunker woman. I've lost track of the plot a bit.
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
This guy just found this body, threw up and then said "Oh God... She's still hot though. I'd still do her." pic.twitter.com/ZT81p8bStu
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Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
"What's a shark doing in a lake anyway? Don't they normally live in the ocean?" "Normally. But we're not talking about a normal shark here."
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
"She's obsessed with water. She has to be in it or around it. It's almost like, she's.... I don't know... " "Yes?" "...effed up. Like a lot"
Chris Brosnahan @ChrisBrosnahan
First possessed lady is now looking at a fish tank. At a funfair. While stalking her ex who is cheating on her with her sister. pic.twitter.com/2nVrOGQPbL
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