The Magic Cabinet, Or: 1983 Crest® "Sparkleman" Telephone

I found a cabinet.
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chaphhy @nothingexpert
please join me in welcoming to my room: this thing I found on the street http://t.co/ZjmitOwVoy
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chaphhy @nothingexpert
Damn. Shoulda checked inside this thing before I brought it home. http://t.co/Hchvx8Gsjn
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chaphhy @nothingexpert
What the heck. I opened the cabinet again, and the cat was gone. There's a big rock instead. http://t.co/op0FyosDVc
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chaphhy @nothingexpert
Every time I open the cabinet there's a different object inside? This time it's a pear. http://t.co/SSAfgStsc1
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chaphhy @nothingexpert
I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I may have found a magic cabinet.
chaphhy @nothingexpert
going to have a bowl of soup and think about this
chaphhy @nothingexpert
I guess I should open the cabinet again. It's kind of spooky though, to be honest! Ha ha
chaphhy @nothingexpert
If I reopen the cabinet without first returning the pencil or whatever, there's nothing new inside.
chaphhy @nothingexpert
So, I put the pencil back in the cabinet and reopened it, and the pencil was broken in half. I think I'm done with the cabinet for a while.
chaphhy @nothingexpert
When I asked a man in his garage if he was throwing out this cabinet, he didn't know what I meant. I brought him to it, out on his curb, and
chaphhy @nothingexpert
he examined it for a moment and then said to me "I think it's got your name on it!"
chaphhy @nothingexpert
you know what I think I think there's something strange about this cabinet
chaphhy @nothingexpert
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Y O U'R  C H I L D E   &   T H E  C A B I N E T ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chaphhy @nothingexpert
9:24 PM—I still have this cabinet.
chaphhy @nothingexpert
does anyone on twitter know anything about magic cabinets
chaphhy @nothingexpert
I created a craigslist post for the cabinet, please share this with friends who might know http://t.co/RFNkDuJSoK
chaphhy @nothingexpert
Well, I tried to peek into the cabinet, and a fly came out. It's somewhere inside the house now. The cabinet is empty. Not sure what to do.
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